Happy Mind, Happy Life: 10 Simple Ways to Feel Great Every Day. A science-backed guide to a calmer, happier you.
How to listen? Learn more
How to listen? Learn more
Subscribe/favorite the shows you want to keep up with. Download any episodes you want saved to your device so you can listen to them anytime (with or without wifi); otherwise, just hit play. See? Easy.
You can head directly to Feel Better, Live More page on the Apple Podcasts app and hit SUBSCRIBE. (The app comes loaded on Apple devices.) You can also search for Feel Better, Live More Podcast or any other show from within the app.
This is the third in a series of re-released episodes from the Feel Better Live More archives. In this conversation, I speak to arguably one of the world’s leading and most original thinkers on modern relationships, the wonderful, Esther Perel, who has long been on my dream guest list.
As human beings, relationships are fundamental to who we are. We know that relationships can be a big source of happiness and fulfillment in our lives but they can also be one of the major sources of stress. So, why is it that we often find relationships so hard?
We talk about the many differences between relationships of the past and the relationships of now. How we are now all under pressure not only to have the perfect relationship, but also to portray this illusion to others as well.
Esther believes that it’s the quality of our relationships that determines the quality of our lives. And who we are is actually a combination of how we see ourselves and how others see us. We only really get to know ourselves through our interactions with others.
We talk about the idea that we are not one person but different with each person – and rather than being one-way, all interactions are reciprocal. We discuss the value of couples’ counselling and whether it’s something all relationships, healthy or otherwise, need. Reassuringly, we learn that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, they all follow a rhythm of harmony, disharmony and repair.
Esther and I touch and expand on our own situations and how the family history and values you bring to a relationship or marriage impacts the dynamic between you. She talks us through how much the concept of marriage has changed over the past century, and how it’s a tall order to ask just one person in our lives to meet all of our needs – needs which once would have been shared across our extended families and communities.
This episode is a joyous celebration of all the relationships in our lives. It’s challenging, poignant but ultimately hugely practical. Esther offers some wonderful examples of practices we can all start implementing today, from rituals to build strength in our intimate relationships, to advice on reframing criticism or starting difficult conversations at work. The upshot? Rather than hoping others will change, we can be the change ourselves.
It was a great pleasure to speak with such an incredible lady and I know that you will get a lot of value from hearing what she has to say.
Disclaimer: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.*
Find out more about our sponsor leafyard.com/livemore
Click here for more information on our sponsor athleticgreens.com/livemore
Watch the video version of this interview – click below.'You only know yourself through your interactions with others.' Click To Tweet
Mating in Captivity: How to keep desire and passion alive in long-term relationships†
The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity†
The secret to desire in a long-term relationship
Rethinking fidelity….a talk for anyone who has ever loved
#75 What Every Parent Should Know with Philippa Perry
#37 How Our Childhood Shapes Every Aspect of Our Health with Dr. Gabor Maté
Click here to subscribe to Friday Five
Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts. For other podcast platforms click here.
*DISCLAIMER: Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.
†Disclosure: All books marked with a † are hyperlinked to an affiliate program. We take part in Amazon’s affiliate advertising program designed to provide a way for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon’s website. You are not charged any extra by using these links to purchase books.